Always Today: Choosing to Move Forward

March 5th marked two years since my sister passed away—the second-to-last loss in a long line of far-too-young Baker goodbyes.

I realize I talk about death a lot in these personal notes. But death has always been present in my life, and what I share with you is… my life. The stories, the memories, the winding roads that led me to opening this center.

Our experiences shape us—our paths (crossroads included), our mindsets, the way we see the world. And when you really think about it, this time we have here… it’s such a short trip.

I’ve always been someone who asks a lot of questions. It’s how I learn. Sometimes they don’t come out quite right (just me?).

One question I’ve thought about often is something I asked my sister on her deathbed:

“Why did you do this?”Her answer: “I don’t know, Jenny.”

That moment has stayed with me.

For a little context—she was never able to move forward through the thoughts and emotions tied to her childhood. Over time, that pain showed up as health issues and alcoholism. We tried everything to help her heal, to help her move forward, to help her find her way back to the incredible person she was before it all took hold.

But the truth is, no one can help you if you’re not ready to help yourself.

It’s a long, heartbreaking story—maybe one I’ll share one day. But not today.

Still, her answer left me wondering: why do any of us do anything?Does there always have to be a reason? A good reason?

For the choices we make.For the ways we hurt ourselves or others.For the things we do—or don’t do.

Because not choosing… is still a choice.

The Weight (and Gift) of Choice

I’ve made some very difficult choices in this life. Haven’t we all?

I’ve watched others make decisions that deeply affected me—ones I had no control over. I’ve chosen (sometimes not gracefully) how to process my emotions around those moments. And yes, I’ve made choices that, looking back, weren’t always the best.

But truthfully, I only regret a few of them—and probably not the ones others would expect.

We all arrive at our choices from different places—our beliefs, our values, our experiences. But every choice, no matter what, moves us forward. Toward a new path. A new version of ourselves.

And that… (deep thoughts by Jenn, lol) is why I believe we’re here.

To learn.To question.To move forward.To gather knowledge and experiences—and to live a life that is truly lived.

That life may not always look the way others think it should. Sometimes people will judge your choices. They may call you selfish, reckless, or wrong.

But others will see something different.

They’ll see courage.They’ll see clarity.They’ll see someone who knows what they want—and what they won’t accept.

Why “Maybe Tomorrow” Became “Always Today”

I try to make my decisions based on what feels right for me—with the knowledge I have at the time.

I ask myself often:

• What do I want out of this life?

• What impact can I make—on a child, a stranger, my community?

• How can I help someone like my sister move forward, heal, and connect with something deeper and meaningful?

Maybe a helping hand—someone to walk beside you—is all it takes to help someone help themselves.

I’ve come to realize that this drive, this urgency, likely comes from all the loss I’ve experienced.

Each year, each goodbye, reminds me more and more:

Tomorrow isn’t promised.

If I’m lucky, maybe I have 1,565 weeks left.

So telling myself “maybe next week”… feels like wasting one.

My social handle used to be @maybetomorrow. Then it became @maybetomorrowmaybetoday. A couple of years ago, I changed it again—to @alwaystoday123go.

It’s my daily reminder:

Just do the damn thing.

Showing Up, However You Can

Some days I accomplish a ton.Some days I take two naps.

But I try—no matter what—to be present in that day.

I’m hard on myself (you probably picked up on that). I’m always pushing to do more, experience more, be more.

And I’m sharing all of this with you because I know what it feels like to sit in indecision, fear, or depression.

To look at the choices in front of you and feel overwhelmed.To be afraid of making the wrong move.To spiral in the “what ifs.”

Even as someone who tends to take action, I’ve spent days—months—years, even—stuck in that place.

So let me gently ask you…

What Are You Waiting For?

Are you looking at our programming and thinking:

• “I’ll try something next week.”

• “I don’t know where to start.”

• “I want to go there one day.”

Here’s your reminder:

Not making a decision… is still making one.

And if you’re feeling stuck—I can help.

Let’s Find Your Spark

I’m offering personal sit-down sessions to talk through what might be a good fit for you here—based on your interests, your schedule, your budget, and your comfort level.

And if we don’t have the right fit? I will gladly point you somewhere that does. I truly believe we’re all here to support each other.

Reach out anytime:📧 blankspacecommunitycenter@gmail.com📱 215-614-8037

I’m here to help you #findyourspark… even if it leads you somewhere else. ✨